Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize