broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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