he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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