VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
