two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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