My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
