It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
