He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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