two words: eviction party
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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