hotel room ftw
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
