Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have aggressive nipples.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
