maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
