Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
