I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
