if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
