i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
