Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
