no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
