Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize