i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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