I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize