I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
