I cannot find my penis.
where am i from again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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