The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
