Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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