I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
