Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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