Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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