Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
