We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
