your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
