Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
