Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's never too late to be topless.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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