is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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