I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
me + whiskey = a bad person
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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