I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
