Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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