What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
