Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize