Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
