Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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