i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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