The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
