even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
