What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
