Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
