On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
