I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
