If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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