weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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