i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize