the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize