Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she pinky promised me she was 18
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
