think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
