We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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