I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
